Wowzers Beautiful Mistake is finally over. *Sits back and thinks about the night I was convinced to start it* This was my very first time writing a complete story. How'd I do? I want to thank every single last one of you who supported me from the beginning.
First I have to thank the two people, who without them this story would not be possible. Onika and Safaree. Love those two people to death. Okay now for a FEW TM members:
@TeamMinajCaliii
Thank you for talking me into writing this story. It's because of you i started. You and your STOOPID bedtime story, which I never finished by the way. lol
@PastryOMGminaj
You were the second person to read my story before it went out. Thank you for the constructive criticism in the beginning.
@TrebbleBarbie
BITCHHHHHHH since the day you asked fuh my number we have been inseparable (well phone wise at least. You get my point) We have bonded so much through us writing. You are my brainstorm partner and i really appreciate you letting me bounce ideas off of you and you giving your input as well. I have gained a true friend with you.
@NickisCareBear and @PINKmunyBARBIE
You two know how to hound a sistah fuh a chapta chile *ratchet voice* lol But really Shonda it was times where I felt like just ending this story like... *thinks* 30 chapters ago and you would call or tweet me nagging and pleading for a chapter. It made me feel like maybe I had something good on my hands. You and Muny are greatness. Muah.
To the people I know read:
@CandaceMinaj, @StillIRiseTM, @SoftLykeButta, @DejuannaXD, @Fetchtorious, @flawlessbarb, @DarkskinndBarbie, @malaminj, @BrooklenBarbie, @IRepMinaj, @SwaggaficBarbie, @SoPinkBarbie, @MASHINGTONMINAJ, @Littlebabyminaj, @lilmomominaj, @Jessie_Barbie, @Barb_thebad (crazy ass lol), @xoromanslover, @Preezybaybe, @Ibodyybitches, @MONAY_TM, @Burrrbarbie, @PROUDnika, @SHADEnika, @BillboardNika (ratchet asses lol), @Teamminavvs, @Tina_minaj, @teamminaj VA SA PA _Pcola Irmo Kee _Htown, @CodePink_, @Minajeh_that, @JacyMinaj, @ImNisiMinaj, @TaylorBarbiie, @Fuckyeaitsminaj, @MissMinaj341, @Nickisaiddis, @Armybratbarbie, @paralleltonone_, @deenaminaj, @Nickimemphis, @Iamnickisbarb, @Jamrock_barbie, @teaminajflorida, @colorrmepink, @savemebarb, @itsteamminajhoe, @Jamaicaz_barb, @cometomyrescue1, @teamminaj_PYB, @Teamminaj_jessi, @Bawsenika, @itsme_notyu, @ifuwannaminaj, @teamminajordie, @rosieukbarbiee, @minajmyshai, @Ithrive4nicki, @nickisboyboy, @BrittanyminajMN, @ilalalovenicki, @iheartnicki_tm, @Diditonembarbie @lotusflowrb0mb
If I forgot you I am so very sorry. But know you don't go unappreciated! Muah
Thank you all so much for riding with me through this emotional ass story, especially the ones that have been here through the beginning. You have seen me grow in my writing skills, I know they were horrid in the beginning! lol! I know I'm probably all types of bitches and hoes in the comments and DMs of the last story for the ending but I will expect apologies in the comments below because below is the link to the new story Bound To You! Make sure you follow it when you click on it. You couldn't have possibly thought I could end it like that, its ONIKAFAREE BITCHHHHHHHHHHH! *Tears then Takes Bow*
Link:
http://boundtoyouonikafaree.blogspot.com/?zx=d41a9a201e5dd186
Monday, January 2, 2012
Don't Think This Hasn't Been Fabulous...
*Enjoy Barbs and Ken Barbs! Muah*
Nicki woke up to the sound of her phone going off. She looked at the clock it read four-forty in the morning. She rolled over and picked up.
"Hello." she said into the receiver yawning afterwards. "Hello?" she asked again when no one said anything. "It's to early in the morning to be playing these games. Stop calling my phone who ever you are." she hung up. Thunder roared outside and lighting cracked. Nicki sat up in her bed and stretched. Nicki had been receiving phone calls from different numbers at weird times of the night but they never said anything, she just heard breathing. She had a felling it was Melanie, seeing as how when she was in a coma she told her she would never let her get a moments rest if she stayed with Safaree. Melanie told her she would hurt their kids if it came down to it, she wanted Safaree and it was nothing she wouldn't do to get and keep him. She wanted to tell Safaree but she didn't want him going after her himself. When she finally got up enough courage to tell him she couldn't because he found out about her taking the pills.
Nicki heard a something break downstairs. She got up slipping on her PJ bottoms and went to go see what had happened. She got to the bottom of the stairs she was startled by a certain burst of thunder. She calmed herself and entered the kitchen. She seen the glass vase that was sitting on the table had been knocked over. She looked up and seen a window was open, she figured the wind must have blew and knocked it over. She shut the window still not remembering when she opened it but she had been drinking so much still that she didn't put it past herself to have opened it.
She turned around to go upstairs when someone grabbed her by her neck and began squeezing. Her first instinct was to grab the hand around her neck.
"Let..go...of...me." she managed to get out. Nicki reached out to try and defend herself but the person tightened their grip so her hands shot back to her neck. The pair struggled and went to the ground. The person fell on top of Nicki still having a hold of her neck. "Please just let me go." Nicki said. She was starting to lose consciousness.
"I should have killed you when I had the chance months ago." Nicki felt the assailants finger nails and noticed they were manicured.
"Melanie?" Was the last thing Nicki said before she passed out.
--
"I can't do it."
"Yes you can Nicki, I'm right here with you."
"I can't Safaree." She cried.
"I'm right here. Look at me." She turned her head and looked him in the eyes. "I'm right here, we are almost there."
"Okay." she said.
"Alright give me a big push baby girl." Nicki pushed as hard as she could. "I see a head full of hair, give me another one." She pushed gritting her teeth.
"GET IT OUT!" She yelled.
"Calm down Nicki, you are almost there." Safaree said.
"One more honey." She pushed again she heard her baby crying. "We have our other baby girl." She handed her over to April.
"Baby you're doing so well, one more to go and we have our three blessings. Are you ready?"
"No it hurts so bad, I can't do that again."
"You got this babe, you have come so far."
"I don't want to hear that Safaree, you're not the one in PAIN!" she shouted.
"If I could do this for you I would but I can't so bare through it and get the last baby here."
"Hold on don't push." Dr. Reynolds said. Both looked at her with concern.
"Why what's wrong?" Safaree asked.
"It hasn't dropped down from its position, this might be one of the rare moments in pregnancy."
"What does that mean?" Nicki asked.
"I think it might of fell asleep."
"It can do that while in active labor?" Safaree questioned.
"Well wake it up." Nicki said through her gritted teeth. Dr. Reynolds took off her gloves and placed her hands on both sides of Nickis stomach and shook it really quickly. Nicki felt a weird movement in her stomach then felt something pressing against her bladder. "I think it's down." the doctor put on more gloves and went back down.
"Nicki....Nicki can you hear me?" She heard Lauren saying. Nicki opened her eyes and waited for her vision to focus.
"Whe..where am I?"
"The hospital."
"Again? What happen?" She sat up in the bed. Her neck hurt, she touched it and had a flashback of early this morning. "Oh my God Lauren." Her hand flew to her mouth.
"Don't cry Nicki, everything will be alright."
"Why is everyone so against me? What have I ever done to any, to deserve the things that have happened to me?"
"Nicki think about all the good that has happened to you, far out weighs the bad."
"When the bad stuff is surrounding you everyday it's hard to see the good things." Nicki took the tissue Lauren handed her. "Who found me?" Lauren looked away. "Lauren...who found me"
"Drake."
Waiting Room
You could cut the tension in the room with a knife it was so thick. One side of the room you had Nickis family, Candi, the Vaks, Wayne, Baby, Slim, and Safaree. On the other you had Drake and bunch of empty seats. No one knew what to say, on one hand he was the one who had brought so much chaos to their lives but he did find Nicki and practically saved her life.
"Listen everyone I know you don't want me here but I love Nicki just like you." Safaree stood clenching his fist. Robert got up and said something inn a low voice to Safaree. Safaree looked at Drake and walked down the hall.
"Son I suggest if you gone stay here then you don't need to say anything else." Robert walked down the hall following Safaree. Everyone else just stared at Drake, he was bright red. A doctor came out and the family stood.
"Mrs. Maraj." he said looking at the crowd in front of him.
"That's me."
"Hi ma'ma. I wanted t let you know that your daughter is fine. She has bruising around her neck but it should fade in a week or so." the waiting room was filled with Thank Yous.
"Can I go back and see her?" Safaree and Robert walked back up.
"She said she would like to see the young man that found her."
"WHAT?" everyone turned to Safaree who was the source of the outburst.
"Calm down SB." Robert said.
"This is BS and you know it sir. He shouldn't be allowed within 500 miles of her."
"She wants to see him, there is nothing we can do about it." Drake got up and walked back with the doctor.
The doctor walked Drake back to Nickis room then left back down the hall. Drake pushed through the doors and seen Lauren sitting next to Nicki on the bed. Lauren mean mugged him then looked back at Nicki.
"Are you sure you want to do this?"
"It's the least I can do, he saved me."
"No, it was the least HE could do. Let's not forget his dumb ass emotions is the reason your here."
"Lauren just give us a minute."
"I'm not leaving this room. I don't trust him as far as I can throw him." Lauren sat on the other bed in the room.
"Fine Lauren." Nicki said. "Come sit down." Drake came around to the side of the bed and sat in the chair. "Okay you said you wanted me to listen to you, you have the floor say everything you need to say." Drake looked over at Lauren who just stared back at him. "She's not going to leave so you might as well speak."
"Listen Nicki I've come to terms with the fact that you don't see me in a romantic way. But I will still like to be friends. Me and you have had a bond since the first day we met years ago, I just want to get back to that. We used to have so much fun together. The mini parties we threw in the back of the tour bus." He smiled when she smiled. "I just need you to know that I know it was a dumb and idiotic stunt I pulled last year, and if you give me the chance i will try my best to make it up to you. You didn't have to defend me and protect me when it came to me going to jail and you did, when everyone was telling you you were a fool for it. I still don't know why you did it but know I'm grateful. I don't want us to have a strained relationship Nic. I'm sorry from the bottom of my heart, I never wanted to hurt you. You mean so much to me and if I would have known that girl was off her rocker I wouldn't have fucked with her, she said she just wanted to help me. I put you and your children in danger. Please find it in your heart to just move passed this and let us make more great memories together." Drake took her hand.
"Are you finished?" Nicki asked. It was a rude way nor was it nonchalant, just a question.
"Yeah I guess."
"Listen Drake you are right, me and you had a bond since day one of us meeting. Both being new to the game you often understood what was going through my head when everyone else couldn't. You were more than a friend I looked at you as if you were family Drake. The bond that we shared was broken the day you decided it was okay to not only kidnap me but while i was pregnant as well. I'm sure that I will always have a place in my heart for you but I don't trust you anymore Drake. And If I can't trust you we can't be friends. I have forgiven you and moved on from the whole situation. I wish you well in your life but please like i said at my signing if it is not about business do not contact me. I greatly appreciate that you found me and got the ambulance quickly but really, there is nothing else for us to speak about." Nicki took her hand from his and placed back in her lap.
"I have to respect that. You let me say my peace, so I'll leave you to your family." Drake stood and leaned over kissing Nicki on her cheek. "I still and will always love you." he whispered in her ear then left.
Walking out to the waiting room everyones eyes were on him, he made contact with Safarees.
"You don't have to worry about me anymore. I won't interfere ever again." he walked out of the hospital.
"Safaree go on back and see how she is doing?" Mrs. Maraj said. He thought about it.
"Naw I'm going to go back to the house and see about the kids. Tell I was here and that I'm happy she is okay." he put on his shades and left the hospital.
Everyone went back to go check on Nicki, when they entered the room Nicki looked for Safaree and when she didn't see him she got sad. Her mom saw the disappointment in her eyes.
"He said he was glad to hear you were okay. He went back home with the babies."
"Okay." she said in a small voice.
"Nicki go ahead and tell them what you told me." Lauren said. Nicki took a deep breath.
"Melanie is the one who attacked me. Back when I was in a coma she came to the hospital and told me that she would hurt me if I didn't leave Safaree and she would hurt the children as well." Safaree had been standing in the door way when she made the confession.
"Why didn't you tell someone? When did you remember this?" Her father asked.
"A couple weeks before the CD signing." She looked over towards the door and they locked eyes. Safaree walked out the door pissed. She sighed. "Did the doctor say when I could go?" Just then the doctor walked in and announced that she could be released as soon as she signed the forms that were in his hand.
Nickis House
"I'm fine you guys stop fussing over me." she had been home for an hour and hadn't been allowed to do a thing. She wanted her house to herself. Her mom fluffed the pillows behind her for the fifth time. "Mom go home, I'm fine."
"I just want you to be comfortable. Keep your curtains closed, the paps are still out there." When Nicki was released from the hospital the paps had been all over her. She put her moms scarf around her neck so they wouldn't see it.
"I will mom, I want to get some rest. If I need you then I will call you."
"Carol let me talk to her really fast." Nickis father said.
"Sure. Goodbye baby." she walked out.
"Hows my baby girl?" he sat next to her on the bed.
"I'm fine daddy."
"I know you have been going through a rough time these last couple of weeks. Nobody wanted to tell me what was wrong but I eventually figured it out. I just want to let you know that addiction is a serious thing and If not treated quickly get get real bad real fast." Nicki tensed. "Now I'm not calling you and addict baby, I'm just letting you know something I have been through. I want you to get your rest, and begin letting your body and mind heal. I know you are wanting Safaree to be here for you but you have to give him time. He was there for you when I was out doing my thing and has seen what drugs can do to a person. I can tell you right now it scared him to see you in that condition. He couldn't stand to watch you like that." Nicki looked at her hands. "Alright, give me my hug and I will get out of your hair." She leaned over and hugged him tight.
"Thank you daddy."
"It is never a problem baby girl. Anytime you need to talk know I'm only a phone call or a drive away." He let her go and left.
Three Hours Later
Nicki woke up to someone nudging her. She buried herself deeper into her bed. They nudged her again.
"Whattttt?" she asked.
"Get up and eat." her eyes popped open at the voice. She pulled the covers from over head. Safaree was standing with a plate of baked salmon. She sat up taking the plate, he sat her water next to her on the nightstand.
"What are you doing here?"
"Taking care of my friend because obviously she can't take care of herself." She looked down not saying anything. "Look I don't mean to be an asshole but I'm not completely over what happened." he walked towards the door.
"Are you leaving?"
"No I'm staying here with you for awhile. Your mom thinks it's best and she has done so much for me I felt it only right to do the one thing she asked of me." again she was silent.
"Okay."
"When you are done let me know so I can come get the plate. I'll try and keep the babies as quiet as I can."
"They're here." She smiled.
"Yeah. Your parents have done enough babysitting. I can take care of them."
"I can too you know?" she looked down.
"When you aren't drunk maybe." she looked towards the window. "I'm sorry." he left before he said something else hurtful. He didn't try to say the things but he had never been one to hold his tongue about how he felt. He would try and control it for her, he knew she was in a fragile state of being in her life.
Later that Night
Safaree had been sleep in his room for a couple of hours. He woke up because he had a feeling, he didn't know of what he just had a feeling. He rolled over looking at the door, it was still closed. He rolled back over and that's when he seen what the feeling was, he was being watched.
Nicki sat in the chair in the corner of his room and was staring at him.
"Are you okay? Does your neck hurt or something, I can rub some more of the cream on it if you want me too. He sat up in the bed.
"No my neck is fine, i couldn't sleep. Can I sleep with you?" he just stared at her for awhile. "Never mind I'll go back to my room." she got up, walking out.
"No, you can sleep with me, it's fine." she stopped.
"Are you sure? I don't want to make you uncomfortable."
He pulled back the covers for her to get in. "Come on." she climbed in and got under the covers. "You comfortable?" she shook her head yes. Both laid there staring at the ceiling, wanting to say so much but not wanting to make the other angry.
"Safaree?"
"Yeah?"
"Can you hold me?" she felt his strong arms circle around her waist. "Safaree?"
"Yes?"
"Where did you go when you left the hospital?"
"I went to go meet up with some people to put the word out about Melanie. If they find her they know what to do."
"I don't want you caught up in no drama SB."
"I won't be, now go to sleep Nicki." she closed her eyes. She felt safe with him.
2 Months Later
The babies had been running them like crazy. Most babies don't learn to stand up till about seven months and begin walking at 9 months. No not these here babies. They all three decided they wanted to stand and walk about a week ago. They were teetering still but walking, SB and Nicki couldn't believe it. The doctor said it was very uncommon but not impossible for them to do it at three months. Once they got the hang of it it was no stopping them. They hurried and put up the safety gates around the house.
Safaree and Nicki had argued for the first month of him coming back to stay with her. Both starting arguments for no reason just to get the other one riled up. It came to a point where they wouldn't even speak. Just moved around each other in their daily routine. Nicki took some advice from her father and went to therapy. She went to her therapist she had used while she was pregnant. She was still afraid Melanie would come back and hurt her and the babies but since the night she attacked her she hadn't surfaced again. When she began her sessions that's when things got better for them. Their friendship got back to where it used to be and strengthened as well. Their relationship as boyfriend and girlfriend was a different story.
"Can I speak with you downstairs?" Safaree asked Nicki. She was in Ethans room putting him down for a nap.
"Sure I'll be down in a minute." she had a feeling of what was too come, but was hoping he wouldn't.
Nicki descended the stairs and went into the living room and seen Safaree on the couch. She went to go sit in the chair.
"No come sit by me." he said reaching out his hand for her. She sat on the opposite end of the couch. "So I--"
"Safaree please don't try and take my kids from me. I promise I'll do better, I really am trying. I'll do whatever it is you want but those kids are my everything, if you take them I don't know what I'm going to do. I went through a rough time but I'm back and I'm not ever going back to that place again. If it's the pills you are worried about, then I'll take a drug test every week if you want. I haven't taken one since the day you put them down the sink. I realize i messed up, I messed up bad but please don't crucify me for it." A single tear ran down her cheek.
"Are you done?" she shook her head yes. He scooted closer to her taking her hand in his. "Nicki I would never take them from you." he gave a sigh of relief. "I know the type of person you are, you are loving, kind and caring. You couldn't hurt a child if you tried, you love kids." she squeezed his hand, she needed to hear those words from him, she thought he had lost faith in her. "I just need for you to get yourself together and I see you have." he moved her hair out of her face. "The things I said to you the day we had the fight about the pills, i didn't mean any of it. I said it out of anger, I thought you had hurt my...our kids by taking them so I wanted to make you hurt. That comment about you being like your father was a low blow and for that I am sorry, I hope you will forgive me. You are a wonderful mother, and I have never thought otherwise, again I said to make you hurt. I hope you will forgive me." she threw her arms around his neck.
"I forgive you Safaree." he hugged her back. Both loved the other being in their arms. Safaree pushed her away from him slightly.
"There is more."
She sat back putting her hands in her lap. She didn't know what he could possibly have to tell her.
"I'm going to move out Nicki. I can't be with you like this anymore. I will be here everyday for my kids and anything they or you need I will provide." Nicki stared at him.
"I knew this was coming, we haven't been good for a while now like you said." he moved closer to her.
"I just don't think it's good for us anymore."
"You'll still be my hype man right? I can't do this without you."
"If you'll still have me I would love too. You are still my best friend no matter what. I told you that before we got into this relationship."
Nicki nodded her head letting her tears fall. She didn't want it to end like this but it was obvious she didn't know how to be about her children, craft, him, and her fans. So she would let him go if that's what he wished. He reached over and wiped her cheek with his finger.
"Don't cry it's not like I'm going anywhere, I just won't be in your house or bed anymore."
"I'll have to get use to that. I've never not had you live with me in my adult life, and as for you in my bed, well let's just say you will be missed at night." He smiled at her.
"I'm sure you can find someone to fill my void."
"I'm sure i could too but you were the best for me."
"And you for me in more ways than one. It's just not our time and we have to come to terms with that."
"I guess you are right. Friends?" she stuck out her hand. He just looked at it.
"Best." He pulled her in for a hug. Nicki took in his scent knowing she wouldn't be able to be this close to him for awhile. One of the baby monitors made noise and they broke from each other.
"That would be Ethan, that boy has a pair of lungs on him." Safaree said. "I'll go check on him." He kissed Nicki on the cheek and went upstairs.
Nicki pulled her legs to her chest and silently cried to herself. She knew she could never find another and that's what hurt her the most. She had strained the longest relationship she has had with a man, all by herself. She would neglect him at times for others that weren't as nearly as important has him.
"Nicki the girls are up now too, I need help." Safaree said into the baby monitor. She pulled herself together before going up the stairs.
"Just give him time." She said to herself. "That's all he needs." She wanted it to be true but wasn't so sure but when she had nothing else she had hope. So she would hold onto that and the great memories they had together. For her it would always be OnikaFaree.
*Wow I can't believe this is the last chapter. Leave a comment, even if you have never left one before please leave one, then meet me in the thank yous.*
VISUALS
Drake and Nicki w/ others on the tour bus way back when!
http://www.myspace.com/video/shanell-aka-snl/young-money-shanell-drake-nikki-bus-party/53955379
Nicki woke up to the sound of her phone going off. She looked at the clock it read four-forty in the morning. She rolled over and picked up.
"Hello." she said into the receiver yawning afterwards. "Hello?" she asked again when no one said anything. "It's to early in the morning to be playing these games. Stop calling my phone who ever you are." she hung up. Thunder roared outside and lighting cracked. Nicki sat up in her bed and stretched. Nicki had been receiving phone calls from different numbers at weird times of the night but they never said anything, she just heard breathing. She had a felling it was Melanie, seeing as how when she was in a coma she told her she would never let her get a moments rest if she stayed with Safaree. Melanie told her she would hurt their kids if it came down to it, she wanted Safaree and it was nothing she wouldn't do to get and keep him. She wanted to tell Safaree but she didn't want him going after her himself. When she finally got up enough courage to tell him she couldn't because he found out about her taking the pills.
Nicki heard a something break downstairs. She got up slipping on her PJ bottoms and went to go see what had happened. She got to the bottom of the stairs she was startled by a certain burst of thunder. She calmed herself and entered the kitchen. She seen the glass vase that was sitting on the table had been knocked over. She looked up and seen a window was open, she figured the wind must have blew and knocked it over. She shut the window still not remembering when she opened it but she had been drinking so much still that she didn't put it past herself to have opened it.
She turned around to go upstairs when someone grabbed her by her neck and began squeezing. Her first instinct was to grab the hand around her neck.
"Let..go...of...me." she managed to get out. Nicki reached out to try and defend herself but the person tightened their grip so her hands shot back to her neck. The pair struggled and went to the ground. The person fell on top of Nicki still having a hold of her neck. "Please just let me go." Nicki said. She was starting to lose consciousness.
"I should have killed you when I had the chance months ago." Nicki felt the assailants finger nails and noticed they were manicured.
"Melanie?" Was the last thing Nicki said before she passed out.
--
"I can't do it."
"Yes you can Nicki, I'm right here with you."
"I can't Safaree." She cried.
"I'm right here. Look at me." She turned her head and looked him in the eyes. "I'm right here, we are almost there."
"Okay." she said.
"Alright give me a big push baby girl." Nicki pushed as hard as she could. "I see a head full of hair, give me another one." She pushed gritting her teeth.
"GET IT OUT!" She yelled.
"Calm down Nicki, you are almost there." Safaree said.
"One more honey." She pushed again she heard her baby crying. "We have our other baby girl." She handed her over to April.
"Baby you're doing so well, one more to go and we have our three blessings. Are you ready?"
"No it hurts so bad, I can't do that again."
"You got this babe, you have come so far."
"I don't want to hear that Safaree, you're not the one in PAIN!" she shouted.
"If I could do this for you I would but I can't so bare through it and get the last baby here."
"Hold on don't push." Dr. Reynolds said. Both looked at her with concern.
"Why what's wrong?" Safaree asked.
"It hasn't dropped down from its position, this might be one of the rare moments in pregnancy."
"What does that mean?" Nicki asked.
"I think it might of fell asleep."
"It can do that while in active labor?" Safaree questioned.
"Well wake it up." Nicki said through her gritted teeth. Dr. Reynolds took off her gloves and placed her hands on both sides of Nickis stomach and shook it really quickly. Nicki felt a weird movement in her stomach then felt something pressing against her bladder. "I think it's down." the doctor put on more gloves and went back down.
"Nicki....Nicki can you hear me?" She heard Lauren saying. Nicki opened her eyes and waited for her vision to focus.
"Whe..where am I?"
"The hospital."
"Again? What happen?" She sat up in the bed. Her neck hurt, she touched it and had a flashback of early this morning. "Oh my God Lauren." Her hand flew to her mouth.
"Don't cry Nicki, everything will be alright."
"Why is everyone so against me? What have I ever done to any, to deserve the things that have happened to me?"
"Nicki think about all the good that has happened to you, far out weighs the bad."
"When the bad stuff is surrounding you everyday it's hard to see the good things." Nicki took the tissue Lauren handed her. "Who found me?" Lauren looked away. "Lauren...who found me"
"Drake."
Waiting Room
You could cut the tension in the room with a knife it was so thick. One side of the room you had Nickis family, Candi, the Vaks, Wayne, Baby, Slim, and Safaree. On the other you had Drake and bunch of empty seats. No one knew what to say, on one hand he was the one who had brought so much chaos to their lives but he did find Nicki and practically saved her life.
"Listen everyone I know you don't want me here but I love Nicki just like you." Safaree stood clenching his fist. Robert got up and said something inn a low voice to Safaree. Safaree looked at Drake and walked down the hall.
"Son I suggest if you gone stay here then you don't need to say anything else." Robert walked down the hall following Safaree. Everyone else just stared at Drake, he was bright red. A doctor came out and the family stood.
"Mrs. Maraj." he said looking at the crowd in front of him.
"That's me."
"Hi ma'ma. I wanted t let you know that your daughter is fine. She has bruising around her neck but it should fade in a week or so." the waiting room was filled with Thank Yous.
"Can I go back and see her?" Safaree and Robert walked back up.
"She said she would like to see the young man that found her."
"WHAT?" everyone turned to Safaree who was the source of the outburst.
"Calm down SB." Robert said.
"This is BS and you know it sir. He shouldn't be allowed within 500 miles of her."
"She wants to see him, there is nothing we can do about it." Drake got up and walked back with the doctor.
The doctor walked Drake back to Nickis room then left back down the hall. Drake pushed through the doors and seen Lauren sitting next to Nicki on the bed. Lauren mean mugged him then looked back at Nicki.
"Are you sure you want to do this?"
"It's the least I can do, he saved me."
"No, it was the least HE could do. Let's not forget his dumb ass emotions is the reason your here."
"Lauren just give us a minute."
"I'm not leaving this room. I don't trust him as far as I can throw him." Lauren sat on the other bed in the room.
"Fine Lauren." Nicki said. "Come sit down." Drake came around to the side of the bed and sat in the chair. "Okay you said you wanted me to listen to you, you have the floor say everything you need to say." Drake looked over at Lauren who just stared back at him. "She's not going to leave so you might as well speak."
"Listen Nicki I've come to terms with the fact that you don't see me in a romantic way. But I will still like to be friends. Me and you have had a bond since the first day we met years ago, I just want to get back to that. We used to have so much fun together. The mini parties we threw in the back of the tour bus." He smiled when she smiled. "I just need you to know that I know it was a dumb and idiotic stunt I pulled last year, and if you give me the chance i will try my best to make it up to you. You didn't have to defend me and protect me when it came to me going to jail and you did, when everyone was telling you you were a fool for it. I still don't know why you did it but know I'm grateful. I don't want us to have a strained relationship Nic. I'm sorry from the bottom of my heart, I never wanted to hurt you. You mean so much to me and if I would have known that girl was off her rocker I wouldn't have fucked with her, she said she just wanted to help me. I put you and your children in danger. Please find it in your heart to just move passed this and let us make more great memories together." Drake took her hand.
"Are you finished?" Nicki asked. It was a rude way nor was it nonchalant, just a question.
"Yeah I guess."
"Listen Drake you are right, me and you had a bond since day one of us meeting. Both being new to the game you often understood what was going through my head when everyone else couldn't. You were more than a friend I looked at you as if you were family Drake. The bond that we shared was broken the day you decided it was okay to not only kidnap me but while i was pregnant as well. I'm sure that I will always have a place in my heart for you but I don't trust you anymore Drake. And If I can't trust you we can't be friends. I have forgiven you and moved on from the whole situation. I wish you well in your life but please like i said at my signing if it is not about business do not contact me. I greatly appreciate that you found me and got the ambulance quickly but really, there is nothing else for us to speak about." Nicki took her hand from his and placed back in her lap.
"I have to respect that. You let me say my peace, so I'll leave you to your family." Drake stood and leaned over kissing Nicki on her cheek. "I still and will always love you." he whispered in her ear then left.
Walking out to the waiting room everyones eyes were on him, he made contact with Safarees.
"You don't have to worry about me anymore. I won't interfere ever again." he walked out of the hospital.
"Safaree go on back and see how she is doing?" Mrs. Maraj said. He thought about it.
"Naw I'm going to go back to the house and see about the kids. Tell I was here and that I'm happy she is okay." he put on his shades and left the hospital.
Everyone went back to go check on Nicki, when they entered the room Nicki looked for Safaree and when she didn't see him she got sad. Her mom saw the disappointment in her eyes.
"He said he was glad to hear you were okay. He went back home with the babies."
"Okay." she said in a small voice.
"Nicki go ahead and tell them what you told me." Lauren said. Nicki took a deep breath.
"Melanie is the one who attacked me. Back when I was in a coma she came to the hospital and told me that she would hurt me if I didn't leave Safaree and she would hurt the children as well." Safaree had been standing in the door way when she made the confession.
"Why didn't you tell someone? When did you remember this?" Her father asked.
"A couple weeks before the CD signing." She looked over towards the door and they locked eyes. Safaree walked out the door pissed. She sighed. "Did the doctor say when I could go?" Just then the doctor walked in and announced that she could be released as soon as she signed the forms that were in his hand.
Nickis House
"I'm fine you guys stop fussing over me." she had been home for an hour and hadn't been allowed to do a thing. She wanted her house to herself. Her mom fluffed the pillows behind her for the fifth time. "Mom go home, I'm fine."
"I just want you to be comfortable. Keep your curtains closed, the paps are still out there." When Nicki was released from the hospital the paps had been all over her. She put her moms scarf around her neck so they wouldn't see it.
"I will mom, I want to get some rest. If I need you then I will call you."
"Carol let me talk to her really fast." Nickis father said.
"Sure. Goodbye baby." she walked out.
"Hows my baby girl?" he sat next to her on the bed.
"I'm fine daddy."
"I know you have been going through a rough time these last couple of weeks. Nobody wanted to tell me what was wrong but I eventually figured it out. I just want to let you know that addiction is a serious thing and If not treated quickly get get real bad real fast." Nicki tensed. "Now I'm not calling you and addict baby, I'm just letting you know something I have been through. I want you to get your rest, and begin letting your body and mind heal. I know you are wanting Safaree to be here for you but you have to give him time. He was there for you when I was out doing my thing and has seen what drugs can do to a person. I can tell you right now it scared him to see you in that condition. He couldn't stand to watch you like that." Nicki looked at her hands. "Alright, give me my hug and I will get out of your hair." She leaned over and hugged him tight.
"Thank you daddy."
"It is never a problem baby girl. Anytime you need to talk know I'm only a phone call or a drive away." He let her go and left.
Three Hours Later
Nicki woke up to someone nudging her. She buried herself deeper into her bed. They nudged her again.
"Whattttt?" she asked.
"Get up and eat." her eyes popped open at the voice. She pulled the covers from over head. Safaree was standing with a plate of baked salmon. She sat up taking the plate, he sat her water next to her on the nightstand.
"What are you doing here?"
"Taking care of my friend because obviously she can't take care of herself." She looked down not saying anything. "Look I don't mean to be an asshole but I'm not completely over what happened." he walked towards the door.
"Are you leaving?"
"No I'm staying here with you for awhile. Your mom thinks it's best and she has done so much for me I felt it only right to do the one thing she asked of me." again she was silent.
"Okay."
"When you are done let me know so I can come get the plate. I'll try and keep the babies as quiet as I can."
"They're here." She smiled.
"Yeah. Your parents have done enough babysitting. I can take care of them."
"I can too you know?" she looked down.
"When you aren't drunk maybe." she looked towards the window. "I'm sorry." he left before he said something else hurtful. He didn't try to say the things but he had never been one to hold his tongue about how he felt. He would try and control it for her, he knew she was in a fragile state of being in her life.
Later that Night
Safaree had been sleep in his room for a couple of hours. He woke up because he had a feeling, he didn't know of what he just had a feeling. He rolled over looking at the door, it was still closed. He rolled back over and that's when he seen what the feeling was, he was being watched.
Nicki sat in the chair in the corner of his room and was staring at him.
"Are you okay? Does your neck hurt or something, I can rub some more of the cream on it if you want me too. He sat up in the bed.
"No my neck is fine, i couldn't sleep. Can I sleep with you?" he just stared at her for awhile. "Never mind I'll go back to my room." she got up, walking out.
"No, you can sleep with me, it's fine." she stopped.
"Are you sure? I don't want to make you uncomfortable."
He pulled back the covers for her to get in. "Come on." she climbed in and got under the covers. "You comfortable?" she shook her head yes. Both laid there staring at the ceiling, wanting to say so much but not wanting to make the other angry.
"Safaree?"
"Yeah?"
"Can you hold me?" she felt his strong arms circle around her waist. "Safaree?"
"Yes?"
"Where did you go when you left the hospital?"
"I went to go meet up with some people to put the word out about Melanie. If they find her they know what to do."
"I don't want you caught up in no drama SB."
"I won't be, now go to sleep Nicki." she closed her eyes. She felt safe with him.
2 Months Later
The babies had been running them like crazy. Most babies don't learn to stand up till about seven months and begin walking at 9 months. No not these here babies. They all three decided they wanted to stand and walk about a week ago. They were teetering still but walking, SB and Nicki couldn't believe it. The doctor said it was very uncommon but not impossible for them to do it at three months. Once they got the hang of it it was no stopping them. They hurried and put up the safety gates around the house.
Safaree and Nicki had argued for the first month of him coming back to stay with her. Both starting arguments for no reason just to get the other one riled up. It came to a point where they wouldn't even speak. Just moved around each other in their daily routine. Nicki took some advice from her father and went to therapy. She went to her therapist she had used while she was pregnant. She was still afraid Melanie would come back and hurt her and the babies but since the night she attacked her she hadn't surfaced again. When she began her sessions that's when things got better for them. Their friendship got back to where it used to be and strengthened as well. Their relationship as boyfriend and girlfriend was a different story.
"Can I speak with you downstairs?" Safaree asked Nicki. She was in Ethans room putting him down for a nap.
"Sure I'll be down in a minute." she had a feeling of what was too come, but was hoping he wouldn't.
Nicki descended the stairs and went into the living room and seen Safaree on the couch. She went to go sit in the chair.
"No come sit by me." he said reaching out his hand for her. She sat on the opposite end of the couch. "So I--"
"Safaree please don't try and take my kids from me. I promise I'll do better, I really am trying. I'll do whatever it is you want but those kids are my everything, if you take them I don't know what I'm going to do. I went through a rough time but I'm back and I'm not ever going back to that place again. If it's the pills you are worried about, then I'll take a drug test every week if you want. I haven't taken one since the day you put them down the sink. I realize i messed up, I messed up bad but please don't crucify me for it." A single tear ran down her cheek.
"Are you done?" she shook her head yes. He scooted closer to her taking her hand in his. "Nicki I would never take them from you." he gave a sigh of relief. "I know the type of person you are, you are loving, kind and caring. You couldn't hurt a child if you tried, you love kids." she squeezed his hand, she needed to hear those words from him, she thought he had lost faith in her. "I just need for you to get yourself together and I see you have." he moved her hair out of her face. "The things I said to you the day we had the fight about the pills, i didn't mean any of it. I said it out of anger, I thought you had hurt my...our kids by taking them so I wanted to make you hurt. That comment about you being like your father was a low blow and for that I am sorry, I hope you will forgive me. You are a wonderful mother, and I have never thought otherwise, again I said to make you hurt. I hope you will forgive me." she threw her arms around his neck.
"I forgive you Safaree." he hugged her back. Both loved the other being in their arms. Safaree pushed her away from him slightly.
"There is more."
She sat back putting her hands in her lap. She didn't know what he could possibly have to tell her.
"I'm going to move out Nicki. I can't be with you like this anymore. I will be here everyday for my kids and anything they or you need I will provide." Nicki stared at him.
"I knew this was coming, we haven't been good for a while now like you said." he moved closer to her.
"I just don't think it's good for us anymore."
"You'll still be my hype man right? I can't do this without you."
"If you'll still have me I would love too. You are still my best friend no matter what. I told you that before we got into this relationship."
Nicki nodded her head letting her tears fall. She didn't want it to end like this but it was obvious she didn't know how to be about her children, craft, him, and her fans. So she would let him go if that's what he wished. He reached over and wiped her cheek with his finger.
"Don't cry it's not like I'm going anywhere, I just won't be in your house or bed anymore."
"I'll have to get use to that. I've never not had you live with me in my adult life, and as for you in my bed, well let's just say you will be missed at night." He smiled at her.
"I'm sure you can find someone to fill my void."
"I'm sure i could too but you were the best for me."
"And you for me in more ways than one. It's just not our time and we have to come to terms with that."
"I guess you are right. Friends?" she stuck out her hand. He just looked at it.
"Best." He pulled her in for a hug. Nicki took in his scent knowing she wouldn't be able to be this close to him for awhile. One of the baby monitors made noise and they broke from each other.
"That would be Ethan, that boy has a pair of lungs on him." Safaree said. "I'll go check on him." He kissed Nicki on the cheek and went upstairs.
Nicki pulled her legs to her chest and silently cried to herself. She knew she could never find another and that's what hurt her the most. She had strained the longest relationship she has had with a man, all by herself. She would neglect him at times for others that weren't as nearly as important has him.
"Nicki the girls are up now too, I need help." Safaree said into the baby monitor. She pulled herself together before going up the stairs.
"Just give him time." She said to herself. "That's all he needs." She wanted it to be true but wasn't so sure but when she had nothing else she had hope. So she would hold onto that and the great memories they had together. For her it would always be OnikaFaree.
*Wow I can't believe this is the last chapter. Leave a comment, even if you have never left one before please leave one, then meet me in the thank yous.*
VISUALS
Drake and Nicki w/ others on the tour bus way back when!
http://www.myspace.com/video/shanell-aka-snl/young-money-shanell-drake-nikki-bus-party/53955379
Sunday, January 1, 2012
The Storm Before the Calm...
*I'm still spazzing over Nickis performance of RIM, even though they cut out half of the 2nd verse but she did say a little bit of ERYYTHANG in that verse! lol Well Enjoy, Hope you like it. Muah to you all!*
It had been a week since Safaree left and Nicki wasn't any better than she was the day he left. She left the babies with her mom because she was in no condition to care for anyone. How could she when she couldn't take care of herself. She felt alone with out him, which pissed her off. After she lost Javon, she promised herself she would never get so wrapped up in a man. When he got killed she felt like a shell of a woman, no emotions, no cares. History was starting to repeat its self and she didn't know how to stop it. Nicki heard her front door open then close, she hopped up out of the bed and ran to the stairs. Looking over the railing her smile faded.
"Oh it's just you." she turned and walked back to her room and slid back under the covers.
"What do you mean 'It's just me.'? Is that anyway to greet your mother?" Mrs. Maraj walked into Nickis room. She had on her big sunglasses and her big purse, looking like the DIVA she was. Denim skinny jeans tucked into her knee length boots with a soft pink sweater on Mrs. Maraj looked like she was ready for a hot date. She sat her purse down and went over to the curtains and pushed them open.
"Maaa." Nicki yelled and got out the bed to close once her mom walked away. "Go home." she sat in her bed.
"Not until we talk Onika."
"Talk about WHAT? There is nothing to talk about." she flung the covers over her head and her mom snatched them off.
"Nothing to talk about, oh honey there is plenty to talk about." she put an emphasis on plenty. "Let's talk about the big one, I am raising your kids."
"What happened to 'Nicki when ever you need me to watch them just say the word.'? Well I'm saying the word." Nicki got up and went down to the bar.
"Where are you going?"
"Why?" she said over her shoulder as she went down the stairs.
Carol was not use to seeing this Nicki, this Nicki was only shown with her father or her friends, she never acted this way with her. Picking up her purse she headed after her.
"Really you're drinking at nine AM? Since when do you drink Jack Daniel?" she asked. Nicki just sat there drinking the warm brown liquor. "That was your fathers choice of drink before he went into one of his episodes." She said it as just a memory she had but Nicki took it as much more.
"What the fuck is this, Kick Nicki while she's down month? You think I'm like daddy too, do you Safaree have bash Nicki meetings to come up with hateful shit to say to me, DAMN."
"Watch your mouth Nicki."
"This is my damn house and I'll say what the hell I feel like saying. You come in here looking down your nose at me, when you let a man beat you and your children for years and excepted it. You're know better than me." her mother had had enough.
"Now you listen to me little girl, for as long as your ass is black you will never disrespect me in this house, my house or any other place we are at. I am YOUR mother and you will treat me a such. Now I don't know what happen to trigger this hateful little girl your becoming and I don't care but what I do know and care about is that you have three kids that need their mother. So get your act together little girl. And let it be a cold day in hell before you ever fix your mouth to yell at me or curse me again because I promise you it will be your last day, try me if you want."
Nicki sat there looking like that fifteen year old girl that got caught sneaking back in the house after Raymond Harris birthday bash. Her mother caught her as she was closing the window in the living room.
"Don't treat me like I'm some child." she said in a small voice.
"Well how am I supposed to treat you Onika? Like a woman? You're not acting like one so I'm going to treat you like the child you're showing me you are. Get it together if not for yourself do it for your children."
Mrs. Maraj was so mad at her daughter at this point, she came over with the intentions of trying to help but she saw that Nicki didn't want help. She put back on her sunglasses. Nicki was just as mad as her.
"I love you Nicki. I'm only telling you these things because of the fact that I love you." she turned and left.
Once she left the house Nicki let out a scream and threw her glass across the room and it shattered.
Safaree
Safaree sat in his hotel room again for the fifth day in a row. He hadn't went anywhere since he checked in. The only human contact he had had was when the room service person came and dropped off his food and left. He just sat around thinking of how him and Nicki had gotten to this point in their relationship. Safaree hadn't shaved so he had this caveman look going on, he did at least shower.
Safaree looked over at the clock and got up. He pulled up his laptop and logged into his skype. He called one of his contacts and Micaiah answered.
"What up big bro?"
"What up man?"
"Hold on let me go get Zaria she was getting changed." He ran off and came back with his niece and sat her in her car seat. "Presenting..." he had his announcer voice on. "the three amigos or amigo and two amiga's. Whatever here your kids." he shifted the computer towards the three. They sat there looking at the screen.
"Hows daddies babies?" they smiled at the sound of their fathers voice. This had become a regular thing for them in the past week. He would skype with them three times a day, this was his first of the day. "Are y'all being good for Nana and granddaddy?" Daria showed her gums. "What you been up to Dee? You been given them a hard time? You probably have." he smiled back at her. "E-man you taking care of your sisters?" Ethan just stared at the screen. "I get no love huh?" all he got in response was a spit bubble. "Z-Baby hows my princess? You been eating up everything?" He didn't know how she did it but she could put away two big bottles in one feeding. He sat there just staring at them and thinking how much they looked like their mother, beautiful. "Alright Micaiah I'll hit you up later." Just them Mrs. Maraj walked in.
"Micaiah let me speak with him."
"Okay. SB mama wants to talk to you." he turned the computer towards her then left the room.
"Hey mama."
"Hi Safaree."
"How have you been? I know the three of them can be a handful."
"Oh they are a joy." she looked over at them. "But I wanted to talk about Nicki, Safaree she's not doing well. When are you coming back to New York? She needs her best friend." he ran his hands over his face and sighed.
"I don't know Mrs. Carol. I need a little more time."
"Safaree she doesn't have a little more time. She is spiraling out of control quickly."
"I don't think I can stand to look at her."
"Well can you at least take her phone calls. She says she calls you but you always send her straight to voice mail."
"She leaves voice mails and doesn't seem like she wants to talk, it's more like she wants to pick a fight."
"Please just talk to her."
"For you I will talk to her. Next time she calls I'll pick up." which he new would be in a hour or so because she called at the same time everyday like clockwork.
"Alright that's all I wanted. How are you doing, you eating?"
"I'm okay, and yes I am eating."
"When you get back I'll cook you a good home cooked meal."
"I'm looking forward to it." she smiled.
"Well I'll let you go. You want to talk to the kids one last time?"
"No just give them a kiss for me."
"I will. Your gonna have to hang up this thing you know I don't know how to work these things."
"Okay."
"Oh and Safaree."
"Yes?"
"Shave."
"Will do." with that he hung up the call.
Safaree walked over to the window and looked below at the people all rushing somewhere. He wished he was with his kids at the moment. They brought so much joy to his life, he noticed he toned down a lot when they were around. Safarees phone went off he went to answer it.
"Hello."
"Nigga what's going on?" It was Vincent.
"Man life." he sat on his bed.
"Lauren called me ranting about how you and Nicki need to get y'all shit together and how if you didn't bring your black ass back from LA she would come out here and kick your ass herself. Which this was news to me because I had no clue you were even here." Safaree chuckled. "Last time we spoke you said you had changed your mind and wasn't coming."
"I didn't, I just didn't tell anyone else that. Like I said I couldn't go that far away from my family. And everyone would be here telling me what they think I should do. I don't need that I need to just get to the answer myself."
"I understand man. Lauren thinks Nicki is about to go off the deep end. She hasn't seen the kids since you left, hasn't even asked about them."
"Maybe I'm being over dramatic about the whole situation."
"From what Candi told me happened, I believe you did what anyone would have done. If she is addicted she needs to kick that shit. She can't be around my nieces and nephew hopped up on shit. Look get your mind right then go and see your children. I'll let Lauren and Candi know you are alright, I won't tell them you're still there. But call them they are worried."
"I will. I'll talk to you later." he hung up.
Safaree went to go bathe and get dressed he was going to go see his babies. They needed at least one of their parents around. An hour later Safaree was dressed and headed out the hotel room. When Safaree reached his car his phone rang, he heard the familiar tune, Nicki he thought. Taking a deep breath he answered.
"Hello."
"Wow I'm surprised you answered."
"What's up Nicki?"
"That's what I'm trying to figure out. Why'd you leave me Safaree? Huh?"
"Have you been drinking." he leaned against his car.
"That's not what I asked you SB. Why did you leave?" she raised her voice.
"You know why I left Nicki. I was sick of the arguing and bickering between us one day. Then you being lovey dovey with me the next. I can't take your mood swings. Oh and let's not forget that your addicted to pills."
"I'M NOT FUCKING ADDICT SAFAREE."
"That's what all addicts say. Look Nicki go get help, I heard you been drinking a lot these days."
"Safaree why are you treating me like this." she was in the middle of her bed on her knees.
"Like what?"
"Like you don't care." there was silence. "Remember the night before that day? You loved me, did you really stop that quickly?" she said sadly.
He still loved her. "Listen Nicki go get help and go see your kids."
"FUCK YOU SAFAREE. STOP PRETENDING YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT ME. AND THAT YOU DON'T WANT T BE WITH ME. IF YOU WANT ME TO GET HELP WHY DID YOU STAY AND HELP ME, YOU JUST PACKED YOUR BAGS AND TREATED ME LIKE I WAS SOME WHORE YOU HAD JUST MET THE NIGHT BEFORE. SCREWED ME THEN LEFT THE NEXT MORNING."
"YOU WILL NOT PUT THIS ON ME LIKE I DID SOMETHING WRONG, IT'S ALL ON YOU ONIKA. GROW UP AND TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR ACTIONS. WHEN I HAD IT IN MIND TO HELP YOU, YOU DIDN'T WANT TO GIVE ME THE PILLS. YOU ACTED LIKE A DAMN JUNKIE. SO YES YOU'RE RIGHT I LEFT. I DON'T WANT TO SEE MY BEST FRIEND KILL HER BODY AND EVENTUALLY HERSELF IF SHE DOESN'T SLOW DOWN. I TELL YOU ALL THE TIME TO TAKE TIME FOR YOURSELF BUT KNOW YOU DECIDE TO GET SOME DUMB ASS PILL INSTEAD. YOU DON'T EVER LISTEN TO ME, SO WHY SHOULD I THINK YOU WOULD LISTEN TO ME NOW." he was pacing back and forth behind his car.
"YOU COULD HAVE TRIED HARDER YOU BASTARD." he couldn't deal with her anymore so he just hung up the phone. Safaree got in his car and tried to calm down. He pulled off and headed for Mrs. Carols house.
--
"Zaria get that out your mouth." Mrs. Maraj took the bib off of her. Lauren came around the corner with Ethan.
"Aunties little man is so cute." she kissed his cheek.
"Thank you girls for helping out with them, you are my angels."
"Mama don't thank us, it's our pleasure." Candi said while feeding Daria.
"She's right. Nicki is our friend and she is going through something so it's only right we help until she gets better.
"Mom look who's here." Micaiah pulled Safaree by the hand into the room.
"Safaree what sight for sore eyes. Come give me a hug."
"Hey ma." he hugged her tight.
"Came to see your babies I see."
"Yes ma'am I couldn't stay away to long, I missed them." he went and took Ethan from Lauren. She rolled her eyes and walked out the room. "What's her problem?" he asked.
"You left, You said you would never leave them." Candi said meekly.
"It's not like I said I wasn't coming back. I wasn't that far." he explained.
"California is far SB!"
"I never left New York. I thought about but I couldn't go. I've been at the Trump." he felt a slap against the back of his head, he looked around for Nicki but realized it was Mrs. Carol. "What was that for?"
"You have been here this whole time and talked to me everyday and never said a thing."
"I'm sorry mama but I need to be by myself. And you know you would have came there and gave all types of wisdom and I wasn't ready for that, I wanted to be mad for awhile. Forgive me?"
"It fine, I understand. Just don't "leave" again."
"Promise." he kissed Ethan who was putting his daddies knuckle in his mouth. "You hungry?" he grabbed a bottle off the table and gave it to him. "I'm never leaving you guys again." he told to Ethan. Ethan pushed the bottle away with his small hands. "Well what do you want?" Safaree rubbed Ethans cheek, Ethan took his fathers finger into his tiny little hand and just held it, minutes later he drifted to sleep. Safaree went and put him in the crib Nickis mother had bought them for when they came over. "I'm going to go find Lauren.
"She is probably in the kitchen. There is a tub of chocolate ice cream in there." Mrs. Maraj said. Safaree took down the stairs and into the kitchen. Lauren was sitting there with a bowl of chocolate ice cream. He grabbed a spoon and sat next to her.
"You mad at me?" she didn't say anything. He put his spoon in her bowl.
"Move SB."
"Oh so you can talk. I thought you had went mute since I've been gone." he smiled she didn't.
"You left them. You know even if she wasn't trippin she still could never take car of them by herself."
"She had you guys and her mother." He looked down.
"That's not the point and you know it."
"She was being selfish so why couldn't I?" he said knowing he sounded childish.
"You have kids that's why dummy." she pushed his head.
"I hear you Lauren. From now on no more bullshit. I know what have to do."
"I hope so because if you pull that disappearing act again I will kick your ass myself." he laughed. "I'm not playing."
"I know, now can I have some of your ice cream?"
"No get your own." he snatched her bowl.
"Stop being stingy before I tell." he got a big spoon full.
"You irk my soul." she snatched her bowl back. He got up going back upstairs.
"Y'all friends again?" Candi asked.
"Yep.She shared her ice cream and everything."
"No she didn't you took it like you always do." Mrs. Carol said cleaning up the room. "Always did like messing with her." she said. Both him and Candi laughed. Mrs. Carol knew them all so well. "Have you talked to Nicki?" Both smiles faded. Both women looked at him, Zaria even looked his way.
"Yes."
"And."
"It went like I said it would. She didn't want to take responsibility for anything. Which lead to a shouting match then me hanging up the phone."
"She is so stubborn."
"Yeah that's your daughter, as stubborn as can be." Mrs. Carol laughed at the comment.
"Really mom you think that's funny?" Everyone turned and seen Nicki and Micaiah standing in the door way. Nicki looked from face to face with an scowl plastered across hers. "Y'all are so buddy buddy with him after he left me AND his kids?"
"Nicki what are you doing here?" Her mom asked.
"I need an invitation to come see my own mother? Did you ask him that when he got here? I'm sure you didn't, probably welcomed him with open arms." She looked over at Candi. "You don't even come over anymore but he comes and it's a party right?"
"It's not even like that Nic." Candi said.
"I don't want to hear it."
"Nicki I'll leave." Safaree said.
"Why this seems to be your family? I'm the one looking like an outsider."
Safaree grabbed his jacket and put it on ready to leave. He walked over giving all his kids kisses then pushed past her. Micaiah ran behind him.
"Are we skyping later so you can see the babies or are we not doing it anymore?"
"Just keep your laptop up alright." he said over his shoulder and left.
"Oh so he's been seeing them and no one told me?"
"Nicki your being petty. Now either spend time with your children or leave because I don't want a bunch of drama in my house."
"How bout I do one even better, pack all they stuff they are coming home with me." Mrs. Carol turned around.
"What do you mean taking them home? You are in no condition to take care of them, I can still smell liquor on your breath. Did you drive here drunk?"
"I'm not drunk, just give me my kids so I can take them home where they should be. That is what you told me when you made your little visit this morning, that I needed to be taking care of them? So let me." she went around the room snatching up their clothes.
"I said you need to get it together and take care of them. You haven't gotten it together yet and you will not take them out of this house until you do. Now get out until the daughter I raised surfaces."
" I bought this house for you and you are kicking me out? Fine, Candi give me Zaria."
"Candi don't you give her that baby." Candi sat there torn.
"Candi give her to me."
"Go and take her to the other room Candace."
She got up from her seat, "I'm sorry Nicki." She took Zaria out of the room.
"Now you need to get help for your drinking and pill problem." Nickis eyes widened.
"Who told you, Safaree? There he go running his mouth." she said folding her arms.
"He wasn't the one who told me."
"Then who?"
"It doesn't matter, but you better get help before its to late. Addictions are nothing to play with."
"I'm not addicted. I haven't taken a pill besides aspirin in a week."
"You can always relapse."
"See there you go having no faith in me."
"Nicki I have all the faith in world in you. But you are not making good choices baby, why are you drinking so much?" Nicki sat down.
"It takes away of the pain of him not being there anymore. He doesn't love me anymore, he doesn't want to help me, he just left."
"Nicki I know it hurts but you are thinking about yourself and not the three lives you are responsible for." Nicki looked towards the crib at a sleeping Ethan.
"I'm messing everyone's life up." she put her head in her hands she felt a headache coming on. "I'll see you later mom."
"Call me if you need anything." Nicki walked out of the door and downstairs. she headed towards the front door.
"Are you okay Nicki?" she turned around and saw Micaiah standing by the steps.
"I'm fine lambchop."
"Mommy doesn't seem to think you are. She cries at night over you. She prays more during the day than she normally does. And this is your first time seeing the babies in over a week."
"Don't worry lambchop, everything will be fine." she gave a half hearted smile.
"I hope so. I love you Nicki." he went back upstairs.
"I love you too Micaiah."
*You all's encouraging words in my DM's always make me smile. I appreciate all of you, you give me the drive to keep writing. Okay now on to the story. Do you think Nicki is going to be alright? Do you think her mom was right for the things she said? How did you feel about both of her convo's with her mom? What about the one with Safaree? Leave comments my beautiful darlings. Love you all! <3*
It had been a week since Safaree left and Nicki wasn't any better than she was the day he left. She left the babies with her mom because she was in no condition to care for anyone. How could she when she couldn't take care of herself. She felt alone with out him, which pissed her off. After she lost Javon, she promised herself she would never get so wrapped up in a man. When he got killed she felt like a shell of a woman, no emotions, no cares. History was starting to repeat its self and she didn't know how to stop it. Nicki heard her front door open then close, she hopped up out of the bed and ran to the stairs. Looking over the railing her smile faded.
"Oh it's just you." she turned and walked back to her room and slid back under the covers.
"What do you mean 'It's just me.'? Is that anyway to greet your mother?" Mrs. Maraj walked into Nickis room. She had on her big sunglasses and her big purse, looking like the DIVA she was. Denim skinny jeans tucked into her knee length boots with a soft pink sweater on Mrs. Maraj looked like she was ready for a hot date. She sat her purse down and went over to the curtains and pushed them open.
"Maaa." Nicki yelled and got out the bed to close once her mom walked away. "Go home." she sat in her bed.
"Not until we talk Onika."
"Talk about WHAT? There is nothing to talk about." she flung the covers over her head and her mom snatched them off.
"Nothing to talk about, oh honey there is plenty to talk about." she put an emphasis on plenty. "Let's talk about the big one, I am raising your kids."
"What happened to 'Nicki when ever you need me to watch them just say the word.'? Well I'm saying the word." Nicki got up and went down to the bar.
"Where are you going?"
"Why?" she said over her shoulder as she went down the stairs.
Carol was not use to seeing this Nicki, this Nicki was only shown with her father or her friends, she never acted this way with her. Picking up her purse she headed after her.
"Really you're drinking at nine AM? Since when do you drink Jack Daniel?" she asked. Nicki just sat there drinking the warm brown liquor. "That was your fathers choice of drink before he went into one of his episodes." She said it as just a memory she had but Nicki took it as much more.
"What the fuck is this, Kick Nicki while she's down month? You think I'm like daddy too, do you Safaree have bash Nicki meetings to come up with hateful shit to say to me, DAMN."
"Watch your mouth Nicki."
"This is my damn house and I'll say what the hell I feel like saying. You come in here looking down your nose at me, when you let a man beat you and your children for years and excepted it. You're know better than me." her mother had had enough.
"Now you listen to me little girl, for as long as your ass is black you will never disrespect me in this house, my house or any other place we are at. I am YOUR mother and you will treat me a such. Now I don't know what happen to trigger this hateful little girl your becoming and I don't care but what I do know and care about is that you have three kids that need their mother. So get your act together little girl. And let it be a cold day in hell before you ever fix your mouth to yell at me or curse me again because I promise you it will be your last day, try me if you want."
Nicki sat there looking like that fifteen year old girl that got caught sneaking back in the house after Raymond Harris birthday bash. Her mother caught her as she was closing the window in the living room.
"Don't treat me like I'm some child." she said in a small voice.
"Well how am I supposed to treat you Onika? Like a woman? You're not acting like one so I'm going to treat you like the child you're showing me you are. Get it together if not for yourself do it for your children."
Mrs. Maraj was so mad at her daughter at this point, she came over with the intentions of trying to help but she saw that Nicki didn't want help. She put back on her sunglasses. Nicki was just as mad as her.
"I love you Nicki. I'm only telling you these things because of the fact that I love you." she turned and left.
Once she left the house Nicki let out a scream and threw her glass across the room and it shattered.
Safaree
Safaree sat in his hotel room again for the fifth day in a row. He hadn't went anywhere since he checked in. The only human contact he had had was when the room service person came and dropped off his food and left. He just sat around thinking of how him and Nicki had gotten to this point in their relationship. Safaree hadn't shaved so he had this caveman look going on, he did at least shower.
Safaree looked over at the clock and got up. He pulled up his laptop and logged into his skype. He called one of his contacts and Micaiah answered.
"What up big bro?"
"What up man?"
"Hold on let me go get Zaria she was getting changed." He ran off and came back with his niece and sat her in her car seat. "Presenting..." he had his announcer voice on. "the three amigos or amigo and two amiga's. Whatever here your kids." he shifted the computer towards the three. They sat there looking at the screen.
"Hows daddies babies?" they smiled at the sound of their fathers voice. This had become a regular thing for them in the past week. He would skype with them three times a day, this was his first of the day. "Are y'all being good for Nana and granddaddy?" Daria showed her gums. "What you been up to Dee? You been given them a hard time? You probably have." he smiled back at her. "E-man you taking care of your sisters?" Ethan just stared at the screen. "I get no love huh?" all he got in response was a spit bubble. "Z-Baby hows my princess? You been eating up everything?" He didn't know how she did it but she could put away two big bottles in one feeding. He sat there just staring at them and thinking how much they looked like their mother, beautiful. "Alright Micaiah I'll hit you up later." Just them Mrs. Maraj walked in.
"Micaiah let me speak with him."
"Okay. SB mama wants to talk to you." he turned the computer towards her then left the room.
"Hey mama."
"Hi Safaree."
"How have you been? I know the three of them can be a handful."
"Oh they are a joy." she looked over at them. "But I wanted to talk about Nicki, Safaree she's not doing well. When are you coming back to New York? She needs her best friend." he ran his hands over his face and sighed.
"I don't know Mrs. Carol. I need a little more time."
"Safaree she doesn't have a little more time. She is spiraling out of control quickly."
"I don't think I can stand to look at her."
"Well can you at least take her phone calls. She says she calls you but you always send her straight to voice mail."
"She leaves voice mails and doesn't seem like she wants to talk, it's more like she wants to pick a fight."
"Please just talk to her."
"For you I will talk to her. Next time she calls I'll pick up." which he new would be in a hour or so because she called at the same time everyday like clockwork.
"Alright that's all I wanted. How are you doing, you eating?"
"I'm okay, and yes I am eating."
"When you get back I'll cook you a good home cooked meal."
"I'm looking forward to it." she smiled.
"Well I'll let you go. You want to talk to the kids one last time?"
"No just give them a kiss for me."
"I will. Your gonna have to hang up this thing you know I don't know how to work these things."
"Okay."
"Oh and Safaree."
"Yes?"
"Shave."
"Will do." with that he hung up the call.
Safaree walked over to the window and looked below at the people all rushing somewhere. He wished he was with his kids at the moment. They brought so much joy to his life, he noticed he toned down a lot when they were around. Safarees phone went off he went to answer it.
"Hello."
"Nigga what's going on?" It was Vincent.
"Man life." he sat on his bed.
"Lauren called me ranting about how you and Nicki need to get y'all shit together and how if you didn't bring your black ass back from LA she would come out here and kick your ass herself. Which this was news to me because I had no clue you were even here." Safaree chuckled. "Last time we spoke you said you had changed your mind and wasn't coming."
"I didn't, I just didn't tell anyone else that. Like I said I couldn't go that far away from my family. And everyone would be here telling me what they think I should do. I don't need that I need to just get to the answer myself."
"I understand man. Lauren thinks Nicki is about to go off the deep end. She hasn't seen the kids since you left, hasn't even asked about them."
"Maybe I'm being over dramatic about the whole situation."
"From what Candi told me happened, I believe you did what anyone would have done. If she is addicted she needs to kick that shit. She can't be around my nieces and nephew hopped up on shit. Look get your mind right then go and see your children. I'll let Lauren and Candi know you are alright, I won't tell them you're still there. But call them they are worried."
"I will. I'll talk to you later." he hung up.
Safaree went to go bathe and get dressed he was going to go see his babies. They needed at least one of their parents around. An hour later Safaree was dressed and headed out the hotel room. When Safaree reached his car his phone rang, he heard the familiar tune, Nicki he thought. Taking a deep breath he answered.
"Hello."
"Wow I'm surprised you answered."
"What's up Nicki?"
"That's what I'm trying to figure out. Why'd you leave me Safaree? Huh?"
"Have you been drinking." he leaned against his car.
"That's not what I asked you SB. Why did you leave?" she raised her voice.
"You know why I left Nicki. I was sick of the arguing and bickering between us one day. Then you being lovey dovey with me the next. I can't take your mood swings. Oh and let's not forget that your addicted to pills."
"I'M NOT FUCKING ADDICT SAFAREE."
"That's what all addicts say. Look Nicki go get help, I heard you been drinking a lot these days."
"Safaree why are you treating me like this." she was in the middle of her bed on her knees.
"Like what?"
"Like you don't care." there was silence. "Remember the night before that day? You loved me, did you really stop that quickly?" she said sadly.
He still loved her. "Listen Nicki go get help and go see your kids."
"FUCK YOU SAFAREE. STOP PRETENDING YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT ME. AND THAT YOU DON'T WANT T BE WITH ME. IF YOU WANT ME TO GET HELP WHY DID YOU STAY AND HELP ME, YOU JUST PACKED YOUR BAGS AND TREATED ME LIKE I WAS SOME WHORE YOU HAD JUST MET THE NIGHT BEFORE. SCREWED ME THEN LEFT THE NEXT MORNING."
"YOU WILL NOT PUT THIS ON ME LIKE I DID SOMETHING WRONG, IT'S ALL ON YOU ONIKA. GROW UP AND TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR ACTIONS. WHEN I HAD IT IN MIND TO HELP YOU, YOU DIDN'T WANT TO GIVE ME THE PILLS. YOU ACTED LIKE A DAMN JUNKIE. SO YES YOU'RE RIGHT I LEFT. I DON'T WANT TO SEE MY BEST FRIEND KILL HER BODY AND EVENTUALLY HERSELF IF SHE DOESN'T SLOW DOWN. I TELL YOU ALL THE TIME TO TAKE TIME FOR YOURSELF BUT KNOW YOU DECIDE TO GET SOME DUMB ASS PILL INSTEAD. YOU DON'T EVER LISTEN TO ME, SO WHY SHOULD I THINK YOU WOULD LISTEN TO ME NOW." he was pacing back and forth behind his car.
"YOU COULD HAVE TRIED HARDER YOU BASTARD." he couldn't deal with her anymore so he just hung up the phone. Safaree got in his car and tried to calm down. He pulled off and headed for Mrs. Carols house.
--
"Zaria get that out your mouth." Mrs. Maraj took the bib off of her. Lauren came around the corner with Ethan.
"Aunties little man is so cute." she kissed his cheek.
"Thank you girls for helping out with them, you are my angels."
"Mama don't thank us, it's our pleasure." Candi said while feeding Daria.
"She's right. Nicki is our friend and she is going through something so it's only right we help until she gets better.
"Mom look who's here." Micaiah pulled Safaree by the hand into the room.
"Safaree what sight for sore eyes. Come give me a hug."
"Hey ma." he hugged her tight.
"Came to see your babies I see."
"Yes ma'am I couldn't stay away to long, I missed them." he went and took Ethan from Lauren. She rolled her eyes and walked out the room. "What's her problem?" he asked.
"You left, You said you would never leave them." Candi said meekly.
"It's not like I said I wasn't coming back. I wasn't that far." he explained.
"California is far SB!"
"I never left New York. I thought about but I couldn't go. I've been at the Trump." he felt a slap against the back of his head, he looked around for Nicki but realized it was Mrs. Carol. "What was that for?"
"You have been here this whole time and talked to me everyday and never said a thing."
"I'm sorry mama but I need to be by myself. And you know you would have came there and gave all types of wisdom and I wasn't ready for that, I wanted to be mad for awhile. Forgive me?"
"It fine, I understand. Just don't "leave" again."
"Promise." he kissed Ethan who was putting his daddies knuckle in his mouth. "You hungry?" he grabbed a bottle off the table and gave it to him. "I'm never leaving you guys again." he told to Ethan. Ethan pushed the bottle away with his small hands. "Well what do you want?" Safaree rubbed Ethans cheek, Ethan took his fathers finger into his tiny little hand and just held it, minutes later he drifted to sleep. Safaree went and put him in the crib Nickis mother had bought them for when they came over. "I'm going to go find Lauren.
"She is probably in the kitchen. There is a tub of chocolate ice cream in there." Mrs. Maraj said. Safaree took down the stairs and into the kitchen. Lauren was sitting there with a bowl of chocolate ice cream. He grabbed a spoon and sat next to her.
"You mad at me?" she didn't say anything. He put his spoon in her bowl.
"Move SB."
"Oh so you can talk. I thought you had went mute since I've been gone." he smiled she didn't.
"You left them. You know even if she wasn't trippin she still could never take car of them by herself."
"She had you guys and her mother." He looked down.
"That's not the point and you know it."
"She was being selfish so why couldn't I?" he said knowing he sounded childish.
"You have kids that's why dummy." she pushed his head.
"I hear you Lauren. From now on no more bullshit. I know what have to do."
"I hope so because if you pull that disappearing act again I will kick your ass myself." he laughed. "I'm not playing."
"I know, now can I have some of your ice cream?"
"No get your own." he snatched her bowl.
"Stop being stingy before I tell." he got a big spoon full.
"You irk my soul." she snatched her bowl back. He got up going back upstairs.
"Y'all friends again?" Candi asked.
"Yep.She shared her ice cream and everything."
"No she didn't you took it like you always do." Mrs. Carol said cleaning up the room. "Always did like messing with her." she said. Both him and Candi laughed. Mrs. Carol knew them all so well. "Have you talked to Nicki?" Both smiles faded. Both women looked at him, Zaria even looked his way.
"Yes."
"And."
"It went like I said it would. She didn't want to take responsibility for anything. Which lead to a shouting match then me hanging up the phone."
"She is so stubborn."
"Yeah that's your daughter, as stubborn as can be." Mrs. Carol laughed at the comment.
"Really mom you think that's funny?" Everyone turned and seen Nicki and Micaiah standing in the door way. Nicki looked from face to face with an scowl plastered across hers. "Y'all are so buddy buddy with him after he left me AND his kids?"
"Nicki what are you doing here?" Her mom asked.
"I need an invitation to come see my own mother? Did you ask him that when he got here? I'm sure you didn't, probably welcomed him with open arms." She looked over at Candi. "You don't even come over anymore but he comes and it's a party right?"
"It's not even like that Nic." Candi said.
"I don't want to hear it."
"Nicki I'll leave." Safaree said.
"Why this seems to be your family? I'm the one looking like an outsider."
Safaree grabbed his jacket and put it on ready to leave. He walked over giving all his kids kisses then pushed past her. Micaiah ran behind him.
"Are we skyping later so you can see the babies or are we not doing it anymore?"
"Just keep your laptop up alright." he said over his shoulder and left.
"Oh so he's been seeing them and no one told me?"
"Nicki your being petty. Now either spend time with your children or leave because I don't want a bunch of drama in my house."
"How bout I do one even better, pack all they stuff they are coming home with me." Mrs. Carol turned around.
"What do you mean taking them home? You are in no condition to take care of them, I can still smell liquor on your breath. Did you drive here drunk?"
"I'm not drunk, just give me my kids so I can take them home where they should be. That is what you told me when you made your little visit this morning, that I needed to be taking care of them? So let me." she went around the room snatching up their clothes.
"I said you need to get it together and take care of them. You haven't gotten it together yet and you will not take them out of this house until you do. Now get out until the daughter I raised surfaces."
" I bought this house for you and you are kicking me out? Fine, Candi give me Zaria."
"Candi don't you give her that baby." Candi sat there torn.
"Candi give her to me."
"Go and take her to the other room Candace."
She got up from her seat, "I'm sorry Nicki." She took Zaria out of the room.
"Now you need to get help for your drinking and pill problem." Nickis eyes widened.
"Who told you, Safaree? There he go running his mouth." she said folding her arms.
"He wasn't the one who told me."
"Then who?"
"It doesn't matter, but you better get help before its to late. Addictions are nothing to play with."
"I'm not addicted. I haven't taken a pill besides aspirin in a week."
"You can always relapse."
"See there you go having no faith in me."
"Nicki I have all the faith in world in you. But you are not making good choices baby, why are you drinking so much?" Nicki sat down.
"It takes away of the pain of him not being there anymore. He doesn't love me anymore, he doesn't want to help me, he just left."
"Nicki I know it hurts but you are thinking about yourself and not the three lives you are responsible for." Nicki looked towards the crib at a sleeping Ethan.
"I'm messing everyone's life up." she put her head in her hands she felt a headache coming on. "I'll see you later mom."
"Call me if you need anything." Nicki walked out of the door and downstairs. she headed towards the front door.
"Are you okay Nicki?" she turned around and saw Micaiah standing by the steps.
"I'm fine lambchop."
"Mommy doesn't seem to think you are. She cries at night over you. She prays more during the day than she normally does. And this is your first time seeing the babies in over a week."
"Don't worry lambchop, everything will be fine." she gave a half hearted smile.
"I hope so. I love you Nicki." he went back upstairs.
"I love you too Micaiah."
*You all's encouraging words in my DM's always make me smile. I appreciate all of you, you give me the drive to keep writing. Okay now on to the story. Do you think Nicki is going to be alright? Do you think her mom was right for the things she said? How did you feel about both of her convo's with her mom? What about the one with Safaree? Leave comments my beautiful darlings. Love you all! <3*
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