Expressions....

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Nicki sat in a daze thinking about the feelings that she knew were developing for Safaree. She always thought of him as cute boy but that’s because she don’t keep ugly friends.  The way she was looking at him now was a sexy ass man. Nicki smiled at the memory from the other night of Safaree in his briefs. “What a wonderful visual.” She thought.  I need to call my mom she thought. She picked up her phone and dialed her number.

“Hello?” her moms’ voice came through the phone.

“Hi mom.” Nicki said in a small voice.

“Onika is that you? What’s the matter?”

“Nothing I just needed to hear your voice.” Nicki lied. She didn’t really know how to bring the subject up now that she was on the phone with her.

“Onika Tanya Maraj do not lie to me. I’ve known you since before you were born something is bothering you, I can hear it in your voice.” Her mom said with her thick accent. This made Nicki smile a little. She knew her mom was getting upset when her accent got really heavy.

“Okay mom calm down. It’s nothing major. I just—.” Nicki sighed. “I’m starting to develop feelings for somebody I never thought I would see in that way. You know what I’m saying ma?” Nicki asked biting her lower lip. She did that when she was nervous or unsure.

“Are you talking about that Drake boy?” her mom asked.

“No Mom. I’m not talking about Drake.” Nicki said. She hadn’t really spoken to him since the whole scene at the restaurant. They need to though because they were label mates and she would be damned if this little incident fucked with her money. She needed to schedule a sit down with him but she couldn’t let Safaree know or he would flip. She didn’t want him there though it would be too much tension and that’s what she didn’t need.

“Oh so you must be talking about Safaree.” Her mom said pulling her out of her thoughts.

“What? Why would you assume its Safaree mom?” Nicki asked with a shocked look on her face. The way her mom said it was like Nicki just didn’t have other options.

“Onika there is no other option.” Nicki stared at the phone. Is she reading my mind Nicki thought? “Those two are the only men you really are around. Safaree would be good for you. He knows how to handle you.” Her mom said.

“What do you mean he knows how to handle me?” Nicki asked.

“When you get in your moods whichever one you feel like being in he knows how to deal with it. He knows how to make you happy.” Her mom said in a voice as if Nicki should already know what she meant.

“You think I can’t find a man or something ma? How do you know I’m not seeing someone?” Nicki asked.

“You would have told me if you had. And you don’t date Nicki. Well at least not since your fame. That’s just not you Onika. You keep to yourself; you stay around what’s familiar.” Mrs. Maraj said. Nicki knew all this was true. She didn’t know who wanted to be with her for her or for her star power. “So have you told Safaree you like him?” She asked.

“He has a girlfriend mom. I had my chance and I didn’t take it.” Nicki said throwing herself on to her bed. “He is all wrapped up in her.”Nicki said.

“Have you been behaving yourself?” Her mom asked.

“What do you mean? I always behave myself.” Nicki said offended.

“Nicki anytime that boy shows focus on anything else besides you, you get jealous. Remember when he took an interest in motorcycles and stopped coming around a lot. But when he did all he talked about was the motorcycle. You would yell at him over the smallest things. So I know this is no different.” She said. Nicki had forgotten all about his motorcycle. She was happy when he sold that thing. But she couldn’t say she hadn’t had fun times on it. Breezing through the streets of Queens on the back. Looking like the bad bitch she was. But her mom was right.

“Well there was a little incident a week or so ago but it was handled.” She said.

“You hit her didn’t you?” her mom asked. Already knowing the answer.

“How did you know?” Nicki asked wide eyed.

“I told you Onika you are possessive. You have always seen Safaree as yours. It didn’t matter if it was just as a friend, he was yours and you don’t like to share. You’ve been that way since you were little.” Her mom chuckled.

“Well he is mine and the girl is trying to take him.” Nicki said pouting.

“Onika don’t go meddling in his relationship. Let him be. If he is happy with her.” Her mom said in a stern voice.

“I wasn’t going to do anything. I told him I would support him and his relationship. Even if she is a sneaky Bit—.”

“Watch your mouth Onika. I’m not one of your little friends.” Her mom said cutting her off.

“Yes ma’am. I’m sorry but she just doesn’t seem like she really cares about him.” Nicki said getting angry. She didn’t like to see her friends get played. And that is exactly what she felt Shante was going.

“Well have you told him this?”

“Yes but he just thinks I’m being mean.”

“Well then he will just have to figure it out on his own then baby.”

“Yeah I guess so.” Nicki said. She was glad she called her mom and talked this out. She couldn’t keep it inside anymore. She would have to call @ItsMarthaBitch and tell her thank you for the advice.

“Oh Onika?”

“Yes ma”

“What did you mean when you said you had your chance with Safaree?” her mom asked. “Shit.” Nicki thought. She thought her mom had not heard that.

“Um listen mom I gotta go handle some stuff I’ll call you soon okay.” Nicki said lying. Well she would call her back but she didn’t have anything to do.

“Mmmhhmm alright well goodbye baby girl. I love you.” Her mom said knowing Nicki was lying but she wouldn’t push the situation.

“Love you to mom. Bye.” Nicki said hanging up the phone. She was not about to tell her mom how she almost got down with Safaree.

JJJ

“But why Safaree?” Shante asked again. Safaree was starting to get irritated.

“I told you Shante! I’m not ready for all that. I like where I’m at.” He yelled. This was fourth time Shante brought up him moving out of the house with Nicki and moving in with her. “I don’t want to talk about this again.”

“Why? Anytime we talk and it has to do with Nicki you want to change the subject. If even say her name you shut down the conversation.” She yelled back.

“Shante I’m not going to say it again. Let it go.” SB said in a calm voice. Well as calm as he could. Shante wanted him away from Nicki. She thought that Nicki had some type of hold over Safaree and as long as he stayed there she will never get his attention fully.

“Fine Safaree.” She said walking away into a different room. Safaree just didn’t get her anymore. This is not how she acted when they first started dating. She was classy and put together. She wasn’t about drama. Now she was all that and then some. He needed to get away from here.

“I’ll talk to you later.” He said walking out the front door and closing it before she had a chance to respond. He hopped in his car and made his way home.  He needed to talk to someone about a lot of things. His male friends would never understand. That leaves Nicki and he couldn’t talk to her about Shante or the other thing that was bothering him.  He pulled up and sat in his car. He sat and let his mind wonder. He must have been sitting there for awhile because he heard a knock on the window. It was Nicki asking if he was okay. She had been waiting on him to come inside for almost an hour.

“Is something wrong?” She asked with a concerned expression on her face.

“Yeah I’m fine just thinking.” SB said getting out the car. He wrapped his arm around her neck as they walked back up to the house.

“Do you have your outfit together for the dinner tomorrow?” Nicki asked as they walked into the house. She pulled him toward the backyard. She wanted to lay in the hammock like they use to and watch the sun go down while they just talked.

“Yeah I got it.”

“Can I see it?”

“No you are just going to have to wait till tomorrow dwarf.” Safaree said tapping her nose with his finger.

“Hey stop that. And please faree?” Nicki asked again waiting for him to lay down first so she could get in.

“No Nicki. I’m not letting you see it.”

“Fine be that way. What did you do today?” she said tilting her head to look at him.

“Nothing much, I was just over Shantes house. She is really nagging me to move in with her.” SB said rubbing his face in frustration. Nickis eyes got big.

“No you can’t leave me. What am I suppose to do with this big ass house all alone.” Nicki said whining.

“Don’t worry Nicki I told her it wasn’t going to happen. At least not right now.”

“So eventually you’re going to leave me?”

“It won’t be that I’m leaving you, I’ll just be in a different house.”

“Safaree we have never been apart from each other more than a couple of days in the past five years. You’re leaving me.” Nicki said.

“Well Nicki I was gonna have to do it sometime. Don’t you wanna get married some day?”

“Yea but why can’t you just stay down the hall?” Nicki said laughing. She knew she was being selfish but she was attached.

“Um no, so I can hear you two getting it in every night. I’ll pass.” He said chuckling.

“It won’t be every night Safaree.” Nicki said laughing harder at Safarees facial expression when she said it. He looked so serious. What she didn’t know was that it made him angry even thinking about another man touching her. Until now he thought he had gotten those feelings for Nicki out of his system. He brushed her hair back out of her face. She looked cute in her NYU sweatshirt. Which he didn’t know where or why she got it because her ass did not go to college! And she had on some matching sweatpants. He stared at her as her laugh subsided. She looked up to see why he had gotten so quiet. She remembered the look on his face, it was the same look he gave her right before he kissed her for the last time. Nicki stared at his lips remembering the soft yet hungry kisses he placed on her body the night before that. She shocked herself when she realized that her lips were once again against his. And this time she had initiated contact.

Safaree was shocked when Nicki attacked his lips like she did. But he didn’t pull away. He was enjoying her tongue exploring his mouth. She had such passion behind her kiss. He wondered what changed about him that made her react like this. Then he thought, Shante. Safaree pulled away.

“What’s wrong?” Nicki asked looking confused.

“You are what’s wrong.” SB said climbing out of the Hammock almost flipping Nicki out of it in the process. He made his way back inside. Nicki hot on his trial.

“Safaree what did I do wrong.” She asked with pleading eyes.

“You wait until I get wrapped up into somebody else to kiss me like that.” SB said. He was pacing back in forth in front of her. He was pissed. She knew he loved her but she also knew he was in a relationship. Why would she do this to me, why now?

“I’m sorry Safaree I can’t help when my feelings arrived. I’ve just lately started to look at you in that way.” Nicki said touching his arm. He pulled away from her. It startled her. “I thought this is what you wanted?” she asked confused. “You don’t love me anymore?” She asked.

“Don’t do that Nicki. Don’t try and play like you don’t know why I’m upset.” He yelled. Nicki still looked confused. “So you mean to tell me that me being in a relationship with Shante had nothing to do with the sudden change in your feelings?”

“I could care less about her Safaree. I’m here stating my feelings because of me and you not because of her.” Nicki said. Nicki looked at his face. She couldn’t read his expression. This was a mistake she thought. Not her feelings but her timing. Her mother told her not to meddle or interfere and she didn’t listen. “Safaree just forget this ever happened.” It hurt her to say that because she did have genuine romantic feelings for him but if it would cause him any type of worry or doubt she didn’t want to risk her friendship.

“Yeah let’s forget it.” He said. The coldness in voice made Nicki sad. She had messed up royally. He walked away.

“Are you still going to go with me to the dinner tomorrow night?” Nicki asked anxious of his response.

“Naw, I think I’m going to take Shante.” He said not turning around.

“So you’re going to take her after I just told you how I felt?” Nicki shouted. Safaree whipped his body around so fast.

“You don’t have any right to even speak that sentence.” He said in a cold voice. “I poured my heart out to you and you left me standing there and had me believing that there was no chance in hell there could ever be anything between us.” This made Nicki mad. SB rarely raised his voice to her but when he did it pissed her off. This time was no different.

“Fine, then I’m taking Drake.” She spat back at him.

“Onika don’t play with me. You better not walk in that dinner with him. After the way he put his hands on you.” SB said with anger in his eyes.

“Why not? He’s apologized for what he did. And besides I need escort since the one I had is now taking someone else.” She said with a smirk. She knew it would aggravate SB to even think she was going with him but for her to actually walk in the party with Drake would crush him. But right now it was war. She felt rejected and it hurt.

“You are only doing this because you’re stubborn. You know you don’t like him you said it yourself you would never date him. So why stringing him along? You say he’s like your brother, you don’t play with your families emotions like that Nicki.” SB said.

“Well he starting to look good to me now.” Nicki said licking her lips. “Yeah, real good as a matter of fact. He’s been a good boy. Maybe he deserves something special.” Nicki said looking towards the ceiling as if she were really contemplating it. Safaree grew even angrier.

“Nicki don’t you even think about it.” He said.

“Why you don’t want me. Why do you care?” she said in a hurt voice.

“You know what Nicki do what you want, I don’t care anymore.” SB lied. He knew it was going to drive him crazy tonight thinking about if she would go through with her threat. He walked into his room and closed his door. Nicki went to her room and cried. This was all her fault and she knew it. “Why do we always have to fight?” she asked herself.

VISUALS

Nickis outfit